Gil Mansergh's Cinema Toast

New Releases 7/03/09


Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs (PG)
Starring the voices of: Ray Romano, John Leguizamo, Denis Leary, Queen Latifah
Director: Carlos Saldanha
As usual, Scrat, the acorn-loving squirrel, steals the picture "and even more so since he meets an acorn-loving female squirrel. Shot in 3-D, it's as though the filmmakers figured this was enough of a gimmick to carry the day, but this feeble film seems composed of ideas cut from the first two films and then combined with a moralistic (can't everyone just get along?) message oddly mixed with "intelligent design" pseudoscience
2 piece of did you know dinosaurs and squirrels lived together? Toast

Public Enemies (R)
Starring: Johnny Depp, Christian Bale, Marion Cotillard, Jason Clarke
Director: Michael Mann
Johnny Depp is John Dillinger in this movie (note the underlined word). But, in contrast, Christian Bale is lifeless as Melvin Purvis, the G-man pursuing the charismatic Indiana gangster, and Marion Cotillard is forced to play a generic "moll" under Michael Mann's direction. The main reason we care about this psychopathic killer, is that it isn't just Dillinger up there on the screen, it's an outlandish pirate, a quirky candy maker and a mask-wearing Don Juan.
3 pieces of Chicago looks great in this toast


Whatever Works (PG-13)
Starring: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Ed Begley
Director: Woody Allen
Woody Allen reverts to formula (he wrote the screenplay about this self-proclaimed "smartest man" falling for a Southern Belle, in the 70's) and casts Larry David as his neurotic New Yorker alter-ego. However, David is angrier than Allen, and not so klutzy and lovable. So if you like to be yelled at, David is the perfect guy to do it. But, if you don't, see the humor behind all the complaining, then skip this one, Go rent a Woody Allen classic like "Radio Days," or "Broadway Danny Rose," or "Annie Hall," or the sci-fi charmer, "Sleeper" instead
2 and 1/2 pieces of Larry David's no Woody Allen toast




NEW ON DVD

The Jonas Brothers 3-D Concert Experience (G) ¨
Starring: Joe Jonas, Nick Jonas, Kevin Jonas ¨
Director: Bruce Hendricks ¨
I wonder if Kevin getting married will increase or decrease this film's popularity. I assume that the Disney folks are already hoping tween fans won't notice how inferior this concert doc really is, but they shouldn't be so complacent. Last year's Miley Cyrus film was a thousand times better, and this age group is fickle. This grandpa noticed that the only adult we see is the trio's bodyguard. Sort of sad. Makes we wonder if a documentary about the lost childhoods of these kids is in the making. ¨
1 and 1/2 pieces of Monkees-style toast

12 Rounds (PG-13) ¨
Starring: John Cena, Aidan Gillen, Ashley Scott, Steve Harris ¨
Director: Renny Harlin ¨

The press notes say: "When a New Orleans cop interrupts a multi-million heist, the bad guy's girlfriend gets killed and [when the thief] breaks out of jail, he enacts his revenge. (Apparently after seeing the movie "Seven" and adding five).
Not available for preview, and not worth seeing since