Mini-reviews of newly released movies and video/DVDs

Mini-reviews of rewly released movies and videos/DVDs

Gil Mansergh's Cinema Toast
New Releases 8/10/07

Stardust (PG-13)
Charlie Cox, Sienna Miller, Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Peter O'Toole
Directed by: Matthew Vaughn
When a lovestruck boy promises his fickle girlfriend a real live star as proof of his love, who should fal out of the sky, but a celestial power source (aka Claire Danes). Lots of folk seek this star's heart "literally and figuratively "either her hand in marriage or her beating blood pumper are fought over by witches, warlocks, princes and princesses alike. How does a simple muggle of a commoner stand a chance? By the way, the special effects are reminiscent of those done by Terry Gilliam in his fairy tales years ago.
2 and 1/2 pieces of too much dust, too few stars, toast

Daddy Day Camp (PG-13)
Cuba Gooding Jr., Lochlyn Monroe, Paul Rae
Directed by: Fred Savage
A new contender for the worst major studio movie of all time joins the short list alongside last week's movie (which I won't name, that transformed some slutty looking dolls into slutty looking "actresses." Cuba Gooding adds another loser to his resume, and Fred Savage alows no wonder to be displayed in this terrible, terrible remake of "Daddy Day Care."
1/2 piece of toilet joke toast

Rush Hour 3 (PG-13)
Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker
Directed by: Fred Savage
This is the death of the franchise. It won't even be helped with all the great publicity of being banned from China because the government's censor says it has an "anti-Chinese" storyline.
1 and 1/2 piece of tired Jackie Chan toast.


My Best Friend (PG-13)
Daniel Auteuil, Julie Gayet, Dany Boon, Julie Durand, Jacques Mathou
Directed by: Patrice LeConte
Francois (Daniel Auteuil) is an arrogant antique dealer who suddenly realizes he has no friends after his business partner bets him to produce one "only one. So who should appear on the scene but a charming cab driver. Voila, a French situation comedy is born
3 pieces of French toast

No End in Sight (NR)
Directed by Charles Ferguson
Billed as "the first film of its kind to chronicle the reason's behind Iraq's descent into civil war," the documentary is a carefully constructed series of interviews with people who were there when the catastrophic mistakes were implemented. The movie works best in how it presents a series of "talking heads." But it is not just what these people have to say that keeps our attention, it is the juxtaposition of their recollections of events compared to another person's memory of the same piece of history. So when someone mentions a meeting in which certain things were said and certain facts shared, Ferguson then goes to a Bush appointee who, as documents prove, was at the same meeting but doesn't remember or completely disavows himself from what was discussed and decided.
3 pieces of damning toast



Return Engagements!
The Rialto in Santa Rosa offers these four fine films as Movies in the Morning!
1. Once (R)
Glen Hansard, Marketa Irglova
Directed by: John Carney
Winner of the Audience Award at Sundance, this low budget musical about two street musicians who get together to tackle the big time in Dublin is surprisingly effective. Featuring Glen Hansard and his Irish band The Frames (and directed by the band's former bassist) it's like watching a scruffy Hollywood musical with infectious performances and a toe-tapping soundtrack. And keep your eyes on 17-year old Maketa Irglova. She's going places.
4 pieces of "let's put on a show" toast

2. Waitress (PG-13)
Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion, Cheryl Hines, Jeremy Sisto, Adrienne Shelly, Andy Griffith
Directed by: Adrienne Shelly
With all the sauciness of the great ensemble of waitresses in "Mystic Pizza," when Jenna, a waitress in a sunny southern diner, learns she's pregnant, she knows exactly what to do. Bake a "Pregnant Miserable Self-Pitying Loser Pie." Motherhood wasn't in her box of recipes, and she's already saddled with her needy, jealous, infantile and volatile husband. Made even more poignant because the film's talented actress/writer/director was senselessly murdered by a worker making repairs in an apartment near hers, you really get to know (and like) the women in this bittersweet tale. WARNING: Don't attempt to make some of the pie recipes at home (like the "I Hate My Husband Pie"), unless you have the movie cookbook.
3 pieces of life is what you bake of it toast

3. Golden Door (Nouvomondo) (PG-13)
Charlotte Gainsbourg, Vincenzo Amato, Aurora Quattrocchi, Vincent Schiavelli, Francesco Casisa
Writer/director: Emanuele Crialese
The "coming to America" fable is turned into a wondrous and magical experience. A widower driven by fantastic dreams of a place filled with riches, and confronted with shocking realities of his Sicilian homeland sells everything for passage on a ship to America. On board, he meets a mysterious, patrician Englishwoman who needs a husband so she can get past Ellis Island (played by an abandoned hotel in Buenos Aires). The plot thickens delightfully.
3 and 1/2 pieces of Dream Come True toast

4. La Vie En Rose (PG-13)
Marion Cotillard, Clotilde Courau, Jean-Paul Rouve, Sylvie Testud, Pascal Gregg
Directed by: Oliver Dahan
Edith Piaf's turbulent life is captured in an amazing performance by Marion Cotillard as fate and the singer's bouts with deep depression finally manage to smoother all the fantastic highs. But through it all. Cotillard's astounding performance captures Piaf's credo ""I regret nothing."
3 pieces of French chansons toast



NEW ON VIDEO/DVD

TMNT (PG)
Voices of Patrick Stewart, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Makom Laurence Fishburne
Directed by: Kevin Munroe
Box Office: $54,132,596
3-D animation manages to make you recall the guys in foam rubber suits with fondness as Mutant Ninja Turtles Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo are transformed into computer generated guys in plastic turtle suits. It's not worth describing the so-called plot, better instead just to warn one and all that the end result is a huge, stinking pile of "cowabunga."
1 and 1/2 pieces of soggy pizza toast

Disturbia (PG-13)
Shia LeBeouf. Sarah Roemer, David Morse
Directed by: D.J. Caruso
Box Office: $80,050,171
Here's the tagline they might have used to sell this movie to the producers:
"Rear Window" for the MTV generation. An angry (but misunderstood) teen under house arrest begins spying on his nubile new neighbor and ends up seeing what he thinks may be a murder. New gadgets of course, and Raymond Burr and Jimmy Stewart are long ago dead, but it still manages to be interesting
2 and 1/2 pieces of obvious but still holds your interest toast

New movie and video/DVD releases mini-reviews